Eating Dirty

(To the tune of “Riding Dirty” by Chamillionaire)

Eating Clean is the “Only” Way

Gah! If I hear one more so-called expert perpetuate this “eating clean” myth, I’ll….I’ll…..I’ll eat them! Yeah! Once they’ve showered, of course.

Well, okay, maybe not such a good plan. And not only because I don’t think experts full of myths aren’t very tasty.

Tasty Eats Make for Happy Peeps!

Look, it’s simple. Eat what you love. And stick to your calories. If it’s calorically “expensive”, plan for it.

Shhh! It’s not the Clean Foods! It’s the Calories!

This ridiculously simple strategy does happen for force you to eat largely healthy foods. It turns out that eating “dirty” (or “not clean” – ew!) does tend to cause the calories to stay in check. See how that works, peeps? It’s not the “clean” food that’s magically doing anything. Stop believing in myths.

The Twinkie Diet

Remember the professor who proved you could lose weight eating just crap so long as you ate within a caloric deficit? And yet this clean eating magical myth isn’t dead yet. (Stabbity stab stab, I’m doing my best here!) I’ll tell you what. I strongly suspect that professor was preeeeety darned tired of his challenge by the end and just clamoring for some veggies and lean meat and, well, see where I’m going with this? The typical “clean” diet.

The more the body eats only junk when it’s only getting limited calories, the more it will crave nutrients. The professor got around this by taking vitamins. You should get around it by eating real food. Stuff that looks like something from nature. Not from a box. Shop the outside of the supermarket.

But you know what? Wander into the middle. Snickers are your kryptonite? Plan for them. And enjoy! Just not too often.

For more information on how to make this work, go watch this video on the Anything Goes Diet.

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